tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11200040351521911682024-03-13T15:19:04.458-07:00Chris Hugh - stuff worth printing outThe diseased imaginings of writer Chris Hugh. Short stories, cat stories, random stories and much that will amaze, confuse or annoy.Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.comBlogger165125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-51174119043868098522021-01-14T21:18:00.003-08:002021-01-14T21:18:58.187-08:00Trump Brainwashing Victims Need a Lifeline Back to Reality<p><span style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It's January 2021 and we are experiencing the culmination of a century of psyops from Russia. They started out heavily influencing the Left, creating a current of white guilt and political correctness where the most basic facts (such as that male and female exist) were denied and accusations of racism and sexism took the place of reasoned debate. Everyday Americans, including my fellow Californians, were not particularly affected by Left (or Right) extremism. Americans are generally moderate, live-and-let-live types. </span></p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;">But the mainstream media gave the far-Left extremists a disproportionate amount of attention, which led to radical leftist ideas being heavily discussed on neutral and, especially, on right-leaning media. The understandable frustration made certain persons on the Right vulnerable to concentrated recent efforts to subvert their loyalty to the United States. You can see the success of those efforts in the hatred the brainwashing victims express toward America's various population groups, our democratic traditions and our rule of law. These victims do not love the America that exists today. They have been made to hate it. </p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thousands of Americans have been turned into disloyal, anti-American, terrorist sympathizers. They need to be helped back to reality. I urge that the following be done to help them back to reality. America, please:</p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;">1. In future elections, prove every vote beyond a reasonable doubt. Identify each voter by signature match or official ID. Use paper ballots. If software is used, make the code and all databases viewable. Video record everything. Put everything online. Get election skeptics involved developing secure procedures that everyone can have confidence in. Prove reality to these people. Give them a lifeline.</p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;">2. When there are election irregularities, explain them fully to the public. Don't downplay them. Don’t try to shape opinion. Have some respect and understand that American adults know very well that irregularities are inevitable. Don’t lie and pretend they don’t happen. Don’t tell us they aren't significant. Tell us what they are. Everyone has the right to form their own individual opinions of the significance. </p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;">3. Stop lying about Donald Trump calling all Mexicans rapists or calling white supremacists fine people. It feels like gaslighting to anyone who looks at the transcripts. Report, don’t interpret. If you have an opinion, fine, tell it to us. But don’t skew the facts. </p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;">4. Stop trying to ban guns. The government must fear the People's righteous anger; otherwise, only the politicians' personal character prevents them from becoming tyrannical. If there's one thing Democrats and Republicans can agree on, it's that the other side consists of dishonorable, power-mad degenerates that must be held in check. Lay off gun control. </p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;">5. Stop calling each other "racist". If you disagree with someone, have a conversation. Be proud of your views and willing to share them. If you can't explain and justify your views, they aren't your views.</p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;">6. Government, do your job. First Amendment speech is to be protected. Arson, vandalism, looting, anarchy and autonomous zones are not to be tolerated. The government maintains the peace and protects the rights of all members of the community. No "Summer of Love" social experiments or government as performance art. </p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;">7. Everybody obey the law. No exceptions, no excuses.</p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></p><p style="background-attachment: unset; background-image: unset; background-size: unset; bottom: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; float: unset; font-family: "Open Sans", "Open Sans Hebrew", Arial; font-size: 16px; left: unset; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; right: unset; top: unset; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></p>Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-30959835987623876282020-09-23T17:22:00.000-07:002020-09-23T17:22:14.030-07:00Neutral Analysis of Kyle Rittenhouse case(I’m going to use neutral language here. Sorry if it sounds harsh.)<div><br /></div><div>Is the shooter a murderer? Everything depends on the very first exchange. Shooter was being chased, an (unrelated) gunshot goes off, he has an encounter with Deceased 1 and he killed him. If Shooter was reasonable in thinking Deceased 1was a lethal threat, then his use of lethal force was legal. If it was unreasonable, then Shooter is a murderer. There’s disagreement over what exactly happened. The jury will decide what happened and whether Shooter acted reasonably.<div><br /></div><div>Both Shooter and Deceased 1 had criminal histories. That’s irrelevant. Politics is irrelevant. The argument that Shooter shouldn’t have even been there is irrelevant. It’s not even relevant whether he was legally permitted to have a firearm. Nothing is relevant except that one issue: did Deceased 1 put Shooter in reasonable fear for his life?</div><div><br /></div><div>If the first shooting was murder, then Shooter was a fleeing felon. Under common law, Deceased 2 had the right to use lethal force to stop him and Shooter cannot claim self defense. Under these facts, there would be no doubt that Shooter murdered Deceased 2. </div><div><br /></div><div>What if the first killing was justified? Then the question again is whether Shooter reasonably believed Deceased 2 was a deadly threat. If it was a reasonable belief, then Shooter had a right to kill in self defense. If not, then it was murder.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-21853988467794358122020-08-25T16:25:00.002-07:002020-08-25T16:25:48.864-07:00Coloring page: Cat Fairy Dance<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZEMvNuTT11M/X0WdwV9GUjI/AAAAAAAADoI/xvB9tQ9godsylyxJt4lqM9i-Nb0wSqaNwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1494/062A4B2C-8DBE-46BD-A13B-F29827B44EB1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1494" data-original-width="1183" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZEMvNuTT11M/X0WdwV9GUjI/AAAAAAAADoI/xvB9tQ9godsylyxJt4lqM9i-Nb0wSqaNwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/062A4B2C-8DBE-46BD-A13B-F29827B44EB1.jpeg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kMtEyme6Dbs/X0Wd3i1rQOI/AAAAAAAADoQ/9Kt5FCu2KYESx0JyMBk5Hs95sWJfUOKfwCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/9C57BE65-30C9-41F8-93BF-35931778DD77.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1583" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kMtEyme6Dbs/X0Wd3i1rQOI/AAAAAAAADoQ/9Kt5FCu2KYESx0JyMBk5Hs95sWJfUOKfwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/9C57BE65-30C9-41F8-93BF-35931778DD77.jpeg" /></a></div> <p></p>Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-50062313985643153922020-08-15T07:53:00.003-07:002020-08-15T07:53:48.549-07:00Cat Party coloring page<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BfVd7ppVAoY/Xzf25zMj5eI/AAAAAAAADng/UiZlvAnf79k4VSD62C3H90DfJ7yEdDbDwCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/8D5E7AA7-9DF0-483B-819C-CE9BC500736E.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1583" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BfVd7ppVAoY/Xzf25zMj5eI/AAAAAAAADng/UiZlvAnf79k4VSD62C3H90DfJ7yEdDbDwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/8D5E7AA7-9DF0-483B-819C-CE9BC500736E.jpeg" /></a></div> <p></p>Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-81312067856447537042020-08-15T07:52:00.002-07:002020-08-15T07:52:54.496-07:00How to create a circle in Adobe Fresco<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BDYbBkvD7WA/Xzf2ufEHUTI/AAAAAAAADnc/2fiyij1YnAkZ8OMb78_Etsn2uQgffSaxwCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/A4A3D555-EC51-4613-80B5-32B3029D9320.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1560" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BDYbBkvD7WA/Xzf2ufEHUTI/AAAAAAAADnc/2fiyij1YnAkZ8OMb78_Etsn2uQgffSaxwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/A4A3D555-EC51-4613-80B5-32B3029D9320.png" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-27796406484316834982020-08-04T02:06:00.002-07:002020-08-04T02:06:35.920-07:00 Coloring page: penthouse cat shelter<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UM1N2OrgtlA/XyklBc_BbLI/AAAAAAAADmo/QAtWOam0xG8hfpGiYhSpeMYAUqDngV-AQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1644/85366AFF-D930-4EBC-AC4E-46AB5023AA79.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1644" data-original-width="1245" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UM1N2OrgtlA/XyklBc_BbLI/AAAAAAAADmo/QAtWOam0xG8hfpGiYhSpeMYAUqDngV-AQCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/85366AFF-D930-4EBC-AC4E-46AB5023AA79.jpeg" /></a></div>Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-67593236989651823072020-08-03T23:11:00.005-07:002020-08-03T23:16:45.033-07:00Coloring page: cat tower show room<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Fv2_uz7l8KE/Xyj9MJ3XA_I/AAAAAAAADmM/k-9UQcMZvFYM63W_S6adxrr2PVMTVz56gCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/DA743074-8501-4006-9420-D4E28312F235.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1560" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Fv2_uz7l8KE/Xyj9MJ3XA_I/AAAAAAAADmM/k-9UQcMZvFYM63W_S6adxrr2PVMTVz56gCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/DA743074-8501-4006-9420-D4E28312F235.jpeg" /></a></div>Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-72766892534787462862020-08-03T22:20:00.002-07:002020-08-03T23:12:56.412-07:00Coloring page: llama like cat with tiny wing<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NlgmruXzsUc/Xyjv9n9--xI/AAAAAAAADl4/Aiv_GsyFCM0hkfActN9J_Rtwoctqm590QCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/390E4C0A-4718-414C-A07D-E4AD64D27F84.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NlgmruXzsUc/Xyjv9n9--xI/AAAAAAAADl4/Aiv_GsyFCM0hkfActN9J_Rtwoctqm590QCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/390E4C0A-4718-414C-A07D-E4AD64D27F84.jpeg" /></a></div>Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-91441908100968563662020-08-03T22:19:00.003-07:002020-08-03T23:12:16.697-07:00Coloring page: summer afternoon swirls <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3mNxxkFSMZ0/XyjvsMwpndI/AAAAAAAADlw/N0-4ly0VVJAjWzK2EXOA7_xVATMr83lxwCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/EEB32C1D-DFB6-4336-9E70-2129B2C1BAA8.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3mNxxkFSMZ0/XyjvsMwpndI/AAAAAAAADlw/N0-4ly0VVJAjWzK2EXOA7_xVATMr83lxwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/EEB32C1D-DFB6-4336-9E70-2129B2C1BAA8.jpeg" /></a></div>Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-5151800457444034692020-08-02T05:40:00.002-07:002020-08-03T23:13:13.638-07:00Coloring page<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6ywmozbjb5E/Xya0GyGPc4I/AAAAAAAADlk/WMwT0NYc0YMZgXgTqvef4g-HWJpfIePSgCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/D0B69B60-256A-4F5F-8C72-20946987AFB5.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6ywmozbjb5E/Xya0GyGPc4I/AAAAAAAADlk/WMwT0NYc0YMZgXgTqvef4g-HWJpfIePSgCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/D0B69B60-256A-4F5F-8C72-20946987AFB5.jpeg" /></a></div>Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-66713819309779047422016-09-30T11:17:00.001-07:002016-09-30T11:19:39.148-07:00Nitzany Modern Standard Arabic chapter 1 vocabulary in Arabic script<div class="mobile-photo">
If you are studying Nitzany's excellent MSA ( modern standard Arabic ) book, and would like to see the vocabulary in Arabic script, please see below. I'm just a beginner, so I can't guarantee accuracy, but I'm pretty sure I transcribed this correctly.</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gRWz5XF5gjw/V-6sTdu32aI/AAAAAAAADPk/j7fOsgTi8OMu8hFSAmv5ZSf7yElnQWGqgCK4B/s1600/IMG_0410-769256.PNG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6336191176155584930" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gRWz5XF5gjw/V-6sTdu32aI/AAAAAAAADPk/j7fOsgTi8OMu8hFSAmv5ZSf7yElnQWGqgCK4B/s320/IMG_0410-769256.PNG" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KUZ7Ti5D_Qw/V-6sTk1z-GI/AAAAAAAADPs/6qtS5QpwS0MyVXXNw6HOKiI7H4VUIBNvgCK4B/s1600/IMG_0411-770149.PNG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6336191178063738978" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KUZ7Ti5D_Qw/V-6sTk1z-GI/AAAAAAAADPs/6qtS5QpwS0MyVXXNw6HOKiI7H4VUIBNvgCK4B/s320/IMG_0411-770149.PNG" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-odoO7f5pHUg/V-6sT33kOYI/AAAAAAAADP0/vkWmUXOtD585XY5ySddf5LIi3Yjj-kz8ACK4B/s1600/IMG_0412-770828.PNG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6336191183171369346" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-odoO7f5pHUg/V-6sT33kOYI/AAAAAAAADP0/vkWmUXOtD585XY5ySddf5LIi3Yjj-kz8ACK4B/s320/IMG_0412-770828.PNG" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hW-srxniXeI/V-6sTwp58wI/AAAAAAAADQA/4rhFekzjdxsghqTQtGZ5_L6LnFg95ryIwCK4B/s1600/IMG_0413-771523.PNG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6336191181235024642" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hW-srxniXeI/V-6sTwp58wI/AAAAAAAADQA/4rhFekzjdxsghqTQtGZ5_L6LnFg95ryIwCK4B/s320/IMG_0413-771523.PNG" /></a></div>
<style scoped="" type="text/css"> blockquote, div.yahoo_quoted { margin-left: 0 !important; border-left:1px #715FFA solid !important; padding-left:1ex !important; background-color:white !important; } </style><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If you are studying Nitzany's excellent MSA ( modern standard Arabic ) book, and would like to see the vocabulary in Arabic script, please see below. I'm just a beginner, so I can't guarantee accuracy, but I'm pretty sure I transcribed this correctly.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br /></span><img alt="Inline image" class="ymail-preserve-class inline-image-guid-5DCDA009-DB1F-4A48-A43A-D6ECED0840DE rte-inline-saved-image" data-guid="5DCDA009-DB1F-4A48-A43A-D6ECED0840DE" src="cid:5DCDA009-DB1F-4A48-A43A-D6ECED0840DE" style="width: 100%;" /><img alt="Inline image" class="ymail-preserve-class inline-image-guid-C957F81C-1FDD-4D26-AC72-403E51922F66 rte-inline-saved-image" data-guid="C957F81C-1FDD-4D26-AC72-403E51922F66" src="cid:C957F81C-1FDD-4D26-AC72-403E51922F66" style="width: 100%;" /><img alt="Inline image" class="ymail-preserve-class inline-image-guid-50640FFC-2E7D-498E-9C5A-9ED1863CB6EA rte-inline-saved-image" data-guid="50640FFC-2E7D-498E-9C5A-9ED1863CB6EA" src="cid:50640FFC-2E7D-498E-9C5A-9ED1863CB6EA" style="width: 100%;" /><img alt="Inline image" class="ymail-preserve-class inline-image-guid-45193654-85F8-4A6D-9720-9A0666EA0338 rte-inline-saved-image" data-guid="45193654-85F8-4A6D-9720-9A0666EA0338" src="cid:45193654-85F8-4A6D-9720-9A0666EA0338" style="width: 100%;" /><span id="yahoo-rte-cursor-span"></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If you are studying Nitzany's excellent MSA ( modern standard Arabic ) book, and would like to see the vocabulary in Arabic script, please see below. I'm just a beginner, so I can't guarantee accuracy, but I'm pretty sure I transcribed this correctly.</span> </div>
Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-67240528443535513372016-09-16T05:45:00.000-07:002020-03-14T07:42:15.888-07:00Lyrics to Didi by Cheb KhaledHere lyrics in Arabic, transliteration and translation to the song Didi by Khaled. I've copied information from around the Web,<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Didi</div>
<br />
Verse 1<br />
<br />
أنا بحر عليّ و انتي لا<br />
ena bhar aaliya ou entia la<br />
(I'm burning in the fire of love but you're not)<br />
<br />
ما نديرك بعيده ما نبكي عليك<br />
ma ndeerik ba'eeda ma nebki aalik<br />
(I will not make you away from me so I don't cry later i.e. he wants to be always close from her)<br />
<br />
لا زهر لا ميمون لا عرقوب<br />
la zhar la memoon la aargoob zine<br />
(but I just have a bad luck and destiny)<br />
<br />
<br />
CHORUS:<br />
ادي ادي الزين ادي واه<br />
didi, didi, didi, didi, zin di wah<br />
(take take, take take, take take, take take the beautiful girl away)<br />
<br />
ادي ادي ادي هالزين ادي ايييه<br />
didi wah, didi, didi di hazzine daaayyeeeah<br />
(take take, take take, take take take this beautiful girl away)<br />
<br />
<br />
Verse 2<br />
<br />
ما نديرك بعيده ما نبكي عليك<br />
ma ndeerik ba'eeda ma nebki aalik<br />
(I will not make you away from me so I don't cry later)<br />
<br />
ما نديك بعيده ما نسقسي عليك<br />
ma ndeerik ba'eeda ma nsaksi aalik<br />
(I will not make you away from me so I don't ask about you later i.e.)<br />
<br />
لا زهر لا ميمون لا عرقوب زين<br />
la zhar la memoon la aargoob zine<br />
(but I just have bad luck and destiny)<br />
<br />
<br />
[CHORUS]<br />
ادي ادي الزين ادي واه<br />
ادي ادي ادي هالزين ادي ايييه<br />
<br />
<br />
Verse 3<br />
<br />
لا بعدوك اعالي الجبال الغامقه<br />
la baadouk aali l'jbal l'ghamqa<br />
(even if they take you to the top of the highest mountain...)<br />
<br />
درنا الملقى في الجبال الغامقه<br />
derna l'melqa fil'jbal l'ghamqa<br />
(I will still come to see you)<br />
<br />
حزامة المريولة على من دارقه؟<br />
hzamt l'meryoula aala men darga?<br />
(This literally means "who doesn't know her belt?". It's some sort of metaphor.<br />
<br />
<br />
[CHORUS]<br />
ادي ادي الزين ادي واه<br />
ادي ادي ادي هالزين ادي ايييه<br />
<br />
<br />
Verse 4<br />
<br />
لا زهر لا ميمون لا عرقوب زين<br />
la zhar la memoon la aargoob zain<br />
(I have a bad luck and destiny)<br />
<br />
لا زهر لا ميمون لا قسم زين<br />
la zhar la memoon la qassam zain<br />
(I have a bad luck and destiny)<br />
<br />
قيس الثبكه في البحر و ابكي عاى الزهر<br />
qees el-shebka fil'bhar ou ebki aal'zhar<br />
(drop the fishing net in the sea and cry on the bad luck -- this is another metaphor, he's describing his bad luck just like a fisherman who drops his fishing net in the sea and gets no fish)<br />
<br />
<br />
[CHORUS]<br />
ادي ادي الزين ادي واه<br />
ادي ادي ادي هالزين ادي ايييه<br />
<br />
<br />
Verse 5<br />
<br />
حزامة (ت؟) المريوله على ون دارفه؟<br />
hzamt l'meryoula aala men darga?<br />
(who doesn't knokw her belt? (explained above)<br />
<br />
رفد احطه يا مول التكسي<br />
rofd ahta ya moul el-taxi<br />
(he's talking to a taxi driver but I'm not sure what he means by "rofd ahta")<br />
<br />
حزامة/حزامت الميوله خيط سباولو<br />
hzamt l'meryoula khait spylo<br />
(her belt is made of "spylo"?)<br />
<br />
[CHORUS]<br />
ادي ادي الزين ادي واه<br />
ادي ادي ادي هالزين ادي ايييه<br />
<br />
<br />
Verse 6<br />
<br />
لا زهر لا ميمون لا عرقوب زين<br />
la zhar la memoon la aargoob zain<br />
(I have a bad luck and destiny)<br />
<br />
<br />
لا زهر لا ميمون لا قسم زين<br />
la zhar la memoon la qassam zine<br />
(I have a bad luck and destiny)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
قيس الشبكه في البحر و ابكي على الزهر<br />
qees el-shebka fil'bhar ou ebki aal'zhar<br />
(drop the fishing net in the sea and cry on the bad luck)<br />
<br />
<br />
[CHORUS]<br />
ادي ادي الزين ادي واه<br />
ادي ادي ادي هالزين ادي ايييه<br />
<br />
<br />
Verse 7<br />
<br />
عينيك كي عيني عينيك بايمين<br />
aynik ki ayni aynik naymeen<br />
(your eyes are sleepy, dreamy)<br />
<br />
عينيك كي عيني عينيك مبلقين<br />
aynik ki ayni aynik mbalgeen<br />
(your eyes are nice)<br />
<br />
عينيك كي عيني عينيك شابين<br />
aynik ki ayni aynik shabbeen<br />
(your eyes are beautiful)<br />
<br />
<br />
[CHORUS]<br />
ادي ادي الزين ادي واه<br />
ادي ادي ادي هالزين ادي ايييه<br />
<br />
<br />
Verse 8<br />
<br />
درنا الملقى في الجبال الغامقه<br />
derna el-melqa fil'jbal l'ghamqa<br />
(I'll come to see even if you're on the top of the highest mountain)<br />
<br />
درنا الملقى عند السوسي جارها<br />
derna el-melqa aand el-soosi jarha<br />
(or I'll come to see you in the neighborhood (i.e. wherever she is, he'll do anything to see her)<br />
<br />
رفد احطه آ مول التاكسي<br />
rofd ahta aa moul el-taxi<br />
(he's talking to the taxi driver, but again, I don't know what he means by "rofd ahta")<br />
<br />Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-7797906006487074162016-04-07T17:55:00.002-07:002016-04-07T17:57:09.874-07:00Save a life for $98<div id="uid2" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26.32px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; max-width: 636px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; word-break: break-word;">
READ THIS TO SAVE A LIFE FOR $98</div>
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There’s a $98 device called Snuza that clips to the baby’s waist and alerts you if he stops breathing. It also alerts you if it loses contact so that it can no longer monitor the baby’s breathing. </div>
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Adults with sleep apnea can use it too. A CPAP works for obstructive sleep apnea, but if you have central sleep apnea, this is the only thing I know of that will help. If you don’t know if you have sleep apnea or not, you’ll know after you spend a night with this gadget. If you can’t afford $3000 for a sleep study, you can diagnose yourself with the Snuza and buy a self-adjusting CPAP online for $300, no Rx needed.</div>
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Many people who have lost a baby to SIDS use the Snuza for subsequent babies. Go over to Amazon if you want to read scores of reviews where this baby monitor has saved a life. It was the only time I found myself crying over Amazon reviews. You’ll also read first hand what parents have done to get their babies breathing again.</div>
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Please pass the word. And excuse my caps. I don’t often comment, but this article was misinformed and dangerous. I don’t know why the author didn’t just google “SIDS baby monitor,” but there are several effective monitors, some as low as $79. If I had a baby, I'd use two at the same time as a fail safe. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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I posted this in response to an incident article on Lifehacker that reviewed three very expensive baby monitors, implied no others existed, and basically advised parents to put their babies to sleep supine but otherwise throw up their hands in despair and give up on protecting their babies from SIDS. </div>
Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-28036874216615713632014-02-22T23:00:00.001-08:002014-02-22T23:02:37.384-08:00You know you text too much when...<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-2NQGEPg9els/UwmccZwbieI/AAAAAAAADHA/mvPsOpM0Ubk/s640/blogger-image--968850581.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-2NQGEPg9els/UwmccZwbieI/AAAAAAAADHA/mvPsOpM0Ubk/s640/blogger-image--968850581.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I just wrote some meditations on barking dogs. I wrote it by hand in a paper notebook, finished it, turned the page, sat back, looked at the notebook and, for a fraction of an instant WAITED FOR IT TO TEXT ME BACK.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I have been texting too much. </div>Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-23051038360013023372014-02-20T18:28:00.001-08:002014-02-20T18:42:57.892-08:00Mindfulness Meditation: A tool to let you govern your own mind<div><b style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-MoSi9TKCuPw/Uwa9MKGRvTI/AAAAAAAADGw/NWa1jfIQx-Q/s640/blogger-image-320087388.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-MoSi9TKCuPw/Uwa9MKGRvTI/AAAAAAAADGw/NWa1jfIQx-Q/s640/blogger-image-320087388.jpg"></a></div><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Life: Happy or Crappy?</b></div><div><br></div><div>I think one key to whether I live a happy life or a crappy one is what I choose to pay attention to. Paying attention to dogs barking, little aches and pains, and the voice in my head that's kind of a miserable whiner is not a recipe for happiness. Or achievement. Or anything good. <div><br></div><div>Meditation is a way to train the awareness. </div><div><br></div><div>The following exercise has been a great tool for disciplining my emotions and recovering from grief. I wish I'd known of it years ago. They ought to teach this stuff in high school. I bet the crime rate would go down. Here it is. </div><div><br></div><div><b>Mindfulness Meditation Made Ridiculously Easy</b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div>Step 1</div><div><br></div><div>Breathe in and tell yourself, "I'm breathing in."</div><div><br></div><div>Step 2</div><div><br>Breathe out and tell yourself, "I'm breathing out."</div><div><br></div><div>Repeat</div><div><br></div><div>When your mind wanders, gently redirect your attention to your breathing. </div><div><br></div><div><b>The gentle redirection of your attention when it wanders is the essence of this exercise. </b>So you don't ever have to feel like you're screwing up. </div><div><br></div><div>A lot of instructions tell you to do this for 5-10 minutes. I can do it for about one minute and I found it just one minute very helpful.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><b>Here are some other online resources:</b></div><div><br></div><div><b>shambhalasun</b></div><div><br></div><div>This site has five has basic five mindfulness exercises and explains the philosophy behind them clearly, with detail, and in a somewhat mystical manner</div><div><br></div><div>http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=3490</div><div><br></div><div><b>Good Life Zen</b></div><div><br></div><div>This page has detailed instructions for a simple meditation exercise. Here's a wonderful bit of wisdom:</div><div><br></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Set yourself a regular schedule, but make sure this schedule is ‘too easy’, and ‘too short’. If you want to create a habit of daily meditation, you’re much more likely to be successful if you treat yourself with kindness and don’t demand the impossible.</i></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i><br></i></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">http://goodlifezen.com/simple-guide-to-mindfulness-meditation/</span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-9p1VmmBBIes/Uwa9LBz_JQI/AAAAAAAADGo/bhKN7kzv8UE/s640/blogger-image-1556324172.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-9p1VmmBBIes/Uwa9LBz_JQI/AAAAAAAADGo/bhKN7kzv8UE/s640/blogger-image-1556324172.jpg"></a></div><br></span></div>Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-48499219438828299762014-02-04T00:17:00.003-08:002014-11-12T17:54:09.743-08:00Are hangovers preventable?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cF5u6tLuEpo/UvCkY8m_ucI/AAAAAAAADDo/JLxl0Tw70Vw/s1600/drunkkk.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cF5u6tLuEpo/UvCkY8m_ucI/AAAAAAAADDo/JLxl0Tw70Vw/s1600/drunkkk.jpeg" height="252" width="320" /></a></div>
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b>
<b>Problem: You get hangovers</b><br />
<b>Solution: Four easy steps below </b><br />
<br />
Apparently, hangovers are preventable. Alcohol does specific things to your body, and by addressing and fixing each thing that alcohol screws up, you can save yourself some misery.<br />
<br />
This is hangover <b>prevention</b>, so do all this stuff while you're still drunk. Before you go to sleep/pass out.<br />
<br />
1. <b>Drink water</b>. Alcohol messes up something in your kidneys and makes them pump out water. Dehydration is the #1 cause of headaches. (You don't even have to be drunk to get a dehydration headache.) So drink a lot of water. One glass of water for every glass of devil's brew you drank. Maybe more. Whenever you pee, drink enough to make up for what you pissed out. But do not drink your pee. No matter how drunk you are, remember: water. Not pee.<br />
<br />
2. <b>Protein</b>. Processing the alcohol uses up amino acids, so replace them. Get some protein. Milk is perfect. So are eggs. There's a reason why a lot of hangover remedies involve a raw egg. Go eat one. In a glass of water. Damn, why did you get so drunk? Chug that raw egg, enjoy the slime. You're drunk anyway, go for it. You could probably cook it if you trust yourself with a stove. Oh, just man up and eat it raw.<br />
<br />
3. <b>Water soluble vitamins</b>. Did you know that English people call being drunk "pissed"? Whole lotta pissing going on here. You're pissing out vitamins right when you need them most. Get some B vitamins in you, some C and some K. Oh, you don't carry around a medicine cabinet as you go carousing? Well, eat some bread then. That might have some B vitamins. And eat an orange. Or drink orange juice. No, do not put vodka in the orange juice. Are you even taking this seriously?<br />
<br />
4. <b>Anti-inflammatories</b>. Take an aspirin or an Advil or an Aleve. Do not take Tylenol. Tylenol is not an anti-inflammatory. I would say, "stick with the ones that start with 'A'", but, damnit, Tylenol is acetaminophen. Your drunk ass is going to mix that up for sure. Just take an aspirin. Or an Advil. Or Aleve. Remember this: Aspirin, Advil, Aleve. Yeah, you're not going to remember that. Get one of those pills and put it in your pocket before you start drinking. No Tylenol.<br />
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<br />
Good luck and Godspeed, my friends. And if you should decide to not get so stupid shitfaced that you need to try hangover remedies, I say, well done.<br />
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<br />Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-75162951102304751882013-07-09T19:21:00.001-07:002013-07-09T19:21:39.002-07:00Found wisdom: If it's worth shooting, it's worth shooting twiceFound wisdom: if it's worth shooting it's worth shooting twice.Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-83415147651094896162013-02-23T12:53:00.002-08:002013-02-23T12:53:44.200-08:00Random weirdness: violent candyTorrones are sophisticated and hearty Italian candies made of nougat and almonds.<br />
<br />
Here is a nice box of Italian torrones.<br />
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The individual candies are packaged in little decorated boxes. Aren't they pretty?<br />
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Here's a close-up of the front of one little box.<br />
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And here is the back of that box. Isn't that a nice Italian painting? No wait –WTF?<br />
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I mean, seriously WTF?</div>
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These candies are weird. Disturbing, violent, and weird. And yet eerily delicious.</div>
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Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-43188026523064759242013-02-21T23:20:00.000-08:002013-02-21T23:20:49.146-08:00Quote of the day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
<b>Context</b><br />
<br />
Chris's mother was bragging about her cat, Quinque Quinque. Quinque Quinque could not get to his litter box so he defecated into the bathtub, to the delight of Chris's mother. "I was so proud of him!"<br />
<br />
Chris replied, "That's better than Mr. Kitten. Today I caught him peeing into a pile of laundry."<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>And the quote from Chris's mom: </b><br />
<br />
"Having pets is like having a retarded child." <br />
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Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-44449045604683594012013-02-17T18:00:00.003-08:002013-02-19T17:01:36.625-08:00Haiku: Togetherness<div style="text-align: center;">
Togetherness</div>
<br />
When you have a cat<br />
You don't have to be alone<br />
<br />
When you go potty<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-40706613726243094062013-02-15T22:30:00.001-08:002013-02-15T22:31:12.788-08:00Haiku: Move, pleaseWoman: Excuse me.<br />
Woman: Move. I need to pee. <br />
Cat: Wait. I'm drinking. <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-ilTjGqNYNX4/UR8naB66akI/AAAAAAAACmc/ErM01L4MaxY/s640/blogger-image--1545563687.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-ilTjGqNYNX4/UR8naB66akI/AAAAAAAACmc/ErM01L4MaxY/s640/blogger-image--1545563687.jpg" /></a></div>Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-80432853720652333962013-02-12T20:59:00.001-08:002013-02-12T21:06:20.744-08:00The story of Pepper, the psycho cat that acts like a crazy ex girlfriend<br />
First I wasn't. Then I was. <br />
<br />
In the beginning it was dark, so dark. I don't remember anything before the dark. Then a light came, a red glow, light filtered through blood. Motion, softness warmth. Then suddenly I was cold and still, lying on something hard, a bright light burning into my closed eyes, air filling my chest. Fear but also freedom. I drank. I slept. I returned to the void from which I'd come. And then I woke up. Over and over.<br />
<br />
Now I stalk the gardens of The Lake. I hunt spiders and moths. The boy gives me food. He shares his sardines. I love him. His mother tells him not to touch me, but he does. He pets me. I love him. I love him. Pet me. Pet me! Pet me, never stop. He stops. I hate him. I scratch him. He bleeds. I love him. Why don't you pet me anymore? Why did you change my name? I like the name Pepper.<br />
<br />
They stop giving me food. They give me water instead. I don't need water. Every house's backyard touches the lake. That's why they call this housing development The Lake. I like my water in a bowl, please, Mother. Not thrown. Why did they change my name? Is 'Stupid' a nickname?<br />
<br />
I wish the boy would feed me. I wish the boy would pet me, but when I ask to be petted he plays with me instead. I don't like to play football. I don't like to be the ball. <br />
<br />
I'm hungry. <br />
I'm sweet. <br />
I meow through the window <br />
every time they eat. <br />
<br />
They give in. The mother says my new name is Garbage Disposal.<br />
<br />
Now I sit on my favorite rock and look out onto the lake. The wind makes the water ripple and the sun shines on the ripples and makes a blurry haze. <br />
<br />
I am happy, and that is good.<br />
<br />
They don't pet me anymore, and that is bad. <br />
<br />
I would be nice to pet now. <br />
<br />
Because I am so fat.Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-82151752426603167322013-02-04T23:32:00.000-08:002014-03-13T14:01:35.162-07:00The Cat Stroller Cometh<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings></xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> 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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Picture of a cat in a cat stroller. He doesn't look thrilled." border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jFxr8u_WPbk/URCz4SgFCfI/AAAAAAAACmI/IeXcbQ62L5o/s320/url.jpeg" height="320" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="" width="280" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They sell these on <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0006Z9RB2/chrishugh-20" target="_blank">Amazon</a></td></tr>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Mr. Kitten made a disgusted sound and pointedly ruffled the bedsheets as if he were burying the human lying in them. </span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Twitch yawn looked around. "Dude, what's going on?"</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"I am sending a message regarding our human’s laziness. She has been lying in bed with her iPad with Safari open to an Amazon page with cat strollers. For the last 16 hours."</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Hmm." Twitch sniffed the human's face and patted her eyelid."To be fair, she's been asleep for the last 14."</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Mr. Kitten arched his back. "You mean she <i>hasn't</i> been looking at cat strollers all this time?" He narrowed his eyes at the sleeping human. "My message to her would be more pointed indeed were I not declawed."</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Yeah, well. Either way I don't think your message is getting through. She’s asleep like a rock." Twitch flopped back down and got comfortable. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14pt;">"For a while I thought she was dead. Can you snore and be dead at the same time?"</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"If anyone could, Chris Hugh could," Kitten huffed.</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"I woke her up a few times just to be sure she was okay. I'm kind of a hero that way. Plus I got myself some snuggles, cuddles and scritchins...So, what's your problem with sleeping and being lazy? You're a cat. Cat pride, remember? You need pride and I'm not lion. Get it? Lion, lyin'?" </span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 18.66666603088379px;">Twitch laughed, then yawned wide enough to show a fair portion of his alimentary canal.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 18.66666603088379px;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Mr. Kitten closed his eyes. "Puns are the lowest form of humor."</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.catsparella.com/2011/03/cats-on-wheels-lets-talk-pet-strollers.html" target="_blank">They see me strollin'...</a></td></tr>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"At least I <i>have</i> a sense of humor. What's got your fluffy knickers in a bunch?"</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Kitten sighed and snuggled down next to the sleeping human."Oh, Twitch. It's just that I'm so excited about her taking us out for a walk in a new cat stroller. I wish she would hurry up and order it."</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Twitch looked at him and nodded slowly. "Oh yeah. I'm excited about that too," he said, wondering at his friend's sudden love of the great outdoors. He snickered thinking about the time Kitten got locked outside. His fur was so puffed up with fear that the only way Chris recognized him was through the process of elimination, him being the only black, pissed-off cat with yellow eyes snarling outside the window that morning.</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The two cats settled down and went to sleep dreaming about being pushed around like kings in a luxurious new hundred-dollar stroller.</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14pt;">48 hours later, the three of them arrived home from their very first walk.</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Chris Hugh carefully closed the front door and opened the stroller. Mr. Kitten bolted out and dashed under the bed. Twitch hopped down, cast a dirty look in Kitten's direction and began grooming himself. </span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And Chris Hugh spent an hour cleaning cat pee out of the stroller.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-61776481129048145322012-08-27T01:13:00.003-07:002013-02-12T21:04:34.349-08:00Humor: Amazon review for the Chucky doll from the movie "Child's Play"11 of 19 people found the follow review helpful<br />
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** <b>Not at all what I was expecting,</b> September 29, 1988<br />
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By <u>a<b> very disappointed mom</b></u><br />
<u><b><br />
</b></u><b>This review is from: "Chucky" Good Guy Talking Doll</b><br />
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<b>Durability: ***** Educational: ****</b><b> Fun: *</b><br />
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My son Andy's 6th birthday was coming up and he'd been asking and asking for the Good Guy "Chucky" Talking Doll so I finally got it for him. I ended up buying it from street person (who I now suspect stole it from the burned-out hulk of a department store where a notorious Voodoo serial killer died) rather than from Amazon, but I'll go ahead and do the review here anyway.<br />
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At first Andy loved his Chucky doll--he was so excited! He had the best birthday ever except for the end of the evening when Andy's babysitter threw herself out the window of our apartment and plunged to her death on the pavement twenty stories below. After the police and paramedics left, I gave "Chucky" a 5 star review.<br />
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Later, I noticed the talking doll was saying strange things, encouraging Andy to kill people, and bragging that he (the doll) had killed the babysitter, etc., etc. It started to bother me after a while, so I decided to take the batteries out of the doll to make it stop talking, and I was almost going to knock it down to three stars, but you won't believe what I found when I took off the battery door (which requires a small Phillips screwdriver, FYI): I had never put the batteries in! LOL.<br />
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Well, I love not having to buy batteries. It's very green and saves money. Plus, most people don't even think about the environmental impact of having to dispose of spent batteries. So that was a plus. But Chucky's demonic urgings were inappropriate, so I still took one star off of my 5-star review. (Also, there were quite a few murders going on and I suspected the doll was responsible, so that was another reason.)<br />
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Later, though, I became convinced that Andy was the murderer. I packed my little guy up and marched him straight to the mental hospital, but the little rascal ran off and the next day I found him--with another body! That's when I realized I'd been very unfair and I bumped Chucky back up to 5 stars.<br />
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Anyway, sorry this review is getting so long. It ends up I was wrong about everything. Chucky the doll was animated by the soul of that Voodoo serial killer I mentioned toward the beginning of this review. He tried to demonically possess Andy, killed a bunch of people and ended up being just a very poor purchase. <br />
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I should mention, too, that the quality of construction on the Chucky doll is poor--inside its torso is, of all things, a beating human heart. Very unsanitary, although I only noticed it as he was chasing after me with a kitchen knife, so that wasn't my top concern at the time, but looking back now, yuck.<br />
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Eventually, we shot the doll through the heart to kill it. Chucky's Voodoo friend was able to let us know about this method of killing it right before he died from the mortal wounds Chucky had inflicted on him after a prolonged torture session. Lucky for me, too, since otherwise I probably would have tried to kill Chucky by putting in the freezer for a few minutes to stun him before plunging his head in boiling water the way I do for lobsters. LOL.<br />
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So now my son is scarred for life. I've got a ton of funerals to go to, not to mention the expense of sending flowers since I feel partially responsible, and I owe my son a replacement birthday gift since this one is now gut shot, in pieces, and scattered around the apartment.<br />
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On the plus side, I see that Chucky has started to reanimate himself, so, despite all his problems, I have to give him 5 stars on Durability. We certainly learned a lot, so 4 stars for Educational Value, but as far as Fun, if I could give zero stars, I would.<br />
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Overall, I really wish I'd bought this doll from Amazon. I know it seems like a lot has happened, but I'd actually still be within the 30-day return period and I would not hesitate to return it for a refund.Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120004035152191168.post-3152380397391191552012-08-22T13:05:00.000-07:002012-08-22T13:22:33.353-07:00The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo<div style="text-align: center;">
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My little parody of Stieg Larsson's opus has now been published on the rather excellent site, <a href="http://www.bewilderingstories.com/issue491/dragon_tattoo.html" target="_blank">Bewildering Stories</a>. Check it out and see if it lives up to its name.<br />
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If you hated <em>The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo</em>, you'll enjoy this parody. Here's an excerpt from a scene when Lizbreath Salamander's evil conservator makes his first and last mistake.<br />
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She said, “That's bad touching,” and he stopped. Then she tortured him, tattooed him, gutted him and made balloon animals out of his large intestines.</blockquote>
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Note the wishfulment coupled with the over-the-top pointless violence. That, my friends, is literature. <a href="http://www.bewilderingstories.com/issue491/dragon_tattoo.html" target="_blank">Click here to read on</a>.<br />
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Kithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713155636288221032noreply@blogger.com0