Found wisdom: If it's worth shooting, it's worth shooting twice

Found wisdom: if it's worth shooting it's worth shooting twice. Pin It Now!

The reunion: part 25

“—it could be dangerous,” Kitten concluded

Suddenly a vampire porn star zombie burst into the restaurant riding a dinosaur.

“Huh,” CC noted. “This must be coming from those books she reread recently.”

“Oh, crap!” Twitch screamed. “I thought I had problems before! Now I’m really in danger!”

Then Chris burst into the room.

“Stop, stop, stop,” Chris said. “Now normally, we would have a big action scene here and have you guys find the resources within yourself to let you overcome these new problems.”

“Or fail to find those resources, and have your problems become even worse," a disembodied voice called out. "After all, this is only the second act.”

As the cats stood around unsure what to do, thirty ghouls, pursued by Viking and Valkyries, burst into the room jostling everyone and forcing them to dance around to avoid the battle axes and spears.

“Thank you, Anchorite,” Chris said, as she deftly parried a sword thrust. “Unfortunately, my dear cats,   these enemies you’re facing, imaginative as they are, are not the product of my own imagination and could have copyright have implications.”

“Like anybody reads your stuff,” Kitten muttered. All the new characters suddenly disappeared, and Twitch did something that Kitten attributed to a departing Viking.

“Thanks for getting us out of that, Chris,” Twitch said. "You're the best!"

“A little deux ex machina,” Kitten mumbled, and Twitch splashed his tailored suit with another helmet-full of mead.

Chris pressed her lips together and gave the two cats a hard look. “You cats be good,” she said.  She met eyes with CC, TingTing and Astrocat. "That goes for you too. I’m leaving now to have dinner with the Anchorite. I don’t think you should be writing your own story, but if you do, get your material from another part of my imagination. And don't expect me to come back and get you out of any trouble.”

Chris left.

“Well, we reminded her that we are waiting for a story,” Kitten said. “Let’s just relax a little and wait for her to get back.”

All the cats agreed to this. It was the best and safest plan. All they had to do was wait for Chris. Chris would probably write for them as soon as she got back from dinner. They waited quietly and patiently.

Two minutes later, Twitch got bored.

And two seconds after that, they were in an ice hockey rink, facing the Chicago Blackhawks.
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The reunion: part 24

All the cats sat around a table, their jealousies and rivalries long forgotten. Too long. Ting Ting brushed a cobweb off Twitch’s sleeve. The once solid, mahogany table was now translucent. The hipster restaurant been replaced by an enveloping fog that defeated the eye. A man who was part human and part chimpanzee floated by riding a smiling shark.

CC waved at them while Mr. Kitten followed them with dull eyes. “Who was that,” AstroCat asked.

“The shark is this really cool fish,” CC said, lighting up a new joint using the ember from his old one and taking a hit. “Dude, he’s always smiling and laid-back, and you should see him eat people. A whole stadium once.” CC blew out the smoke and gave a thumbs up to the departing shark. “Hardcore, yeah. Chris hasn’t written about him in a year.” CC leaned back and closed his eyes.

“The guy is a character from Chris’s third unfinished book.” Twitch said. “She hasn’t worked on it in like three years.”

 “We are really in limbo now,” Mr. Kitten said. “Chris has forgotten about us.”

“Chris would never forget about me,” Twitch said. “She’s just busy doing other things.”

“Like what,” Ting Ting asked.

Twitch answered quickly. “She’s working really hard writing stuff, so that she can work from home and be with me all the time!”

“That’s not what I’ve seen,” Mr. Kitten said. “She’s been rereading those books about that private detective who is also a wizard and watching the Stanley Cup finals. And exercising like a dummy because now she wants to play hockey on a women’s team.”

Twitch stared at Mr. Kitten hard for a moment. Twitch narrowed his eyes. Mr. Kitten narrowed his eyes. Then with lightning fast cats reflexes Twitch sprang at him. In the same moment, Mr. Kitten started running with reflexes just as fast. Even in human form, they had a grace, agility and strength of cats. Twitch ran a step or two, then sat back down at the table. “I’m too bummed out to chase him.”

Kitten came back and put a hand on Twitch’s shoulder. “I’m bored to death. I wish Chris would have us do something. But she's forgotten about us.”

“Maybe you,” Twitch said. “But she would never forget about me. I have an idea! Let's help her out and do our own story.”

“How would you do that?” Ting Ting asked.

Twitch looked at her blankly. Then he grabbed her chair and pulled her next to him. “I'm more a doer than a thinker, baby. Kitten?”

Kitten cleared his throat. “It is possible that we could tap into Chris’s subconscious. The story could flow out of it, probably based on what she has been doing lately. The only problem is –“

Twitch jumped up shouting, “Let’s do it! I’m bored to death!” The walls of the restaurant solidified around them—they were back in a story. Then CC, Ting Ting, and Mr. Kitten startled and stumbled as something huge crashed against the building. The chandeliers swayed, dishes fell to the floor, and a crack opened up in the front of the building.

“—it could be dangerous,” Kitten concluded
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