911 Emergency
Are
you calling about a robbery in progress? This might be the perfect time to
think about protecting yourself in the future. To learn about homeowners
insurance, press 1. For medical insurance, press 2. For life--"911 Operator. What is your emergency?"
"My heart....I need...I need..."
"An ambulance? Certainly. I see on my computer
that you live in a Class C neighborhood as determined by home values, property
taxes and income levels. Your approximate wait time for an ambulance is one
hour, forty minutes."
"...I can't...wait..."
"Would you like to upgrade your neighborhood
classification for faster service?"
"....Please..."
"Let me describe the available packages--"
"...Fast as poss...poss...poss--"
"As possible? That'll be the Class A upgrade
with a current wait time of 5 minutes. Your total is $10,000. Would you like
that one? ...Hello?"
"....yes.....anything....any---"
"Will you be paying by Visa or MasterCard
today?...Hello?...Is anyone there? Hello? Hello? Hello?"
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