Cats: Today's Words of Wisdom

If dogs had thumbs they'd bring you coffee. If cats had thumbs they'd steal your car. -HelloPossums

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Herding Cats

Herding Cats
by the Anchorite

Anton Fitzgibbon straightened his tie for the third time since he looked into the mirror. He fussed with the vest on his three piece suit and took in a deep, nervous breath. As an internet cat, he worked hard and dedicated himself to doing the best job he could. He dreamed of one day having the prestigious corner office of the Chaircat of the Internetz, but he was still a long way from that lofty position. He started his career as an intern, received a full-time offer in the mailroom, and steadily worked his way up the ranks and into the front office. Anton looked forward to one day sitting in the Chaircat’s office rather than simply walking by it, but for now he had enough responsibility on his shoulders with his first managerial assignment.

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Today's Tip for Today

An apple a day keeps the zombies at bay Pin It Now!

Cat Haiku of the Day

from Peter Geller's The Cat Who'll Live Forever:

A Cat Haiku

      The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
        New rule tomorrow. Pin It Now!

Daily words of wisdom

If you get a boo-boo, do not allow a zombie to "kiss it and make it better."
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Here's a super-cynical short story....

911 Emergency

Are you calling about a robbery in progress? This might be the perfect time to think about protecting yourself in the future. To learn about homeowners insurance, press 1. For medical insurance, press 2. For life--"911 Operator. What is your emergency?"

"My heart....I need...I need..."

"An ambulance? Certainly. I see on my computer that you live in a Class C neighborhood as determined by home values, property taxes and income levels. Your approximate wait time for an ambulance is one hour, forty minutes."

"...I can't...wait..."

"Would you like to upgrade your neighborhood classification for faster service?"


"Let me describe the available packages--"

"...Fast as poss...poss...poss--"

"As possible? That'll be the Class A upgrade with a current wait time of 5 minutes. Your total is $10,000. Would you like that one? ...Hello?"


"Will you be paying by Visa or MasterCard today?...Hello?...Is anyone there? Hello? Hello? Hello?"
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