The Game is Afoot: a 100-word story

Die deutsche Version ist weiter unten

The Game is Afoot

          Cat: Too slow, human. Check, but not checkmate. I evade the broom she gracelessly sweeps under the bed, shoot between her legs and scuttle into her office. Fewer places to hide, but speed and cunning will win. No! She opens a plastic bag--the sound is an anathema. She expects me to flee to the bathroom where she will follow me, shut the door, wrap me in a towel and abduct me. Guess again, human! I jump to the top of a cabinet. The game continues.

          Human: I just want to take you to the vet for your annual checkup.

And now, one more time, in German.

Das Spiel ist im Gange

          Katze: zu langsam, Mensch.  Im Schach, aber nicht Schachmatt.  Ich weiche dem Besen aus, mit dem sie unelegant unter dem Bett kehrt.  Ich husche zwischen ihren Beinen hindurch und schleiche in ihr Büro.  Weniger Platz zum Verstecken, aber Geschwindigkeit und Gerissenheit werden siegen. Nein!  Sie öffnet eine Plastiktüte -- das Geräusch ist ein Gräuel.  Sie erwartet, daß ich ins Badezimmer fliehen werde, wohin sie mich dann verfolgt, und dann die Tür schließt, mich in ein Tuch wickelt und verschleppt. Falsch gedacht, Mensch!  Ich springe auf den Wandschrank.  Das Spielt fährt fort.

          Mensch: Ich will dich doch nur zum Tierarzt für die jährliche Untersuchung bringen.

Like the German? Click here to see the lyrics to Eisbrecher's new album, The Hoelle Muss Warten. Translated by yours truly with the kind permission of Eisbrecher's management.

Pin It Now!

The first victim from A Mr. Kitten Murder Mystery speaks....

I'm Winston Churchill the parrot. You've probably never heard a parrot, unless you've heard one of us "in person". So to speak. On TV and radio and so forth, they always have a human voice actor do the parrot voice, so that it'll sound more like what people expect. Our actual voices sound exactly human. Or exactly whatever. I can also do a mean imitation of the microwave and the smoke detector. That's why they don't keep me in the kitchen anymore. I can do the doorbell, too, and the telephone, police sirens, the works. I'm a pretty fun companion, especially in the middle of the night.

Today I'm hanging out in the conservatory, out of my cage. Madeleine--who pretends to like me, but doesn't--has brought in a box of chocolates. She probably wants to tempt Helen, the poor dear; chocolate is her only vice. Madeleine, however, to quote my namesake, has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. Good. Helen steps out of the room without noticing the chocolates; it's just me and the Captain here now. I decide to help her by helping myself.
Pin It Now!

66-Word Story: "Trading Dreams"

Trading Dreams

by Christina Hugh

The woman smiled in her sleep as the cat nuzzled her. Forehead-to-forehead with the silken beast, she dreamed of running free. A stunning pursuit—-then sudden victory!-—her enemy staggering back, dripping from the ragged slashes on his face. She gloated and licked the blood from her claws.

The clock ticked.

Mr. Kitten dreamed he went to his final exams naked.

Pin It Now!

Drabble: "I Meant to Do That"

I Meant to Do That

by Chris Hugh

The new desk fascinated me. All new things fascinate me. I need to sit in them as soon as possible, rub my nose against them and, if the woman's not looking, scratch them. I hid around a corner until the coast was clear and then I ran. Ran, ran, ran, streaked through the house like a black bolt of lightning, showing off, jumped on the desk and, um, slid across its treacherously polished surface, got splatted like Wile E. Coyote into a nearly wall and then slipped to the carpet in slow motion.

Don't laugh. I meant to do that.

Pin It Now!